Leading Neuropsychologist Sheds Light on What Couples Forget That Leads Them to Divorce

Dr. Dee Gaines, an expert in the fields of clinical psychology and neuropsychology, has one question on her mind: Are most Americans heading for a divorce? Although she spends less time doing therapy and more time diagnosing brain-related disorders, Dr. Dee’s experience in marriage therapy has led her to believe that most divorces occur because two very important things were left behind by the couple as time went on.

“For most couples who get together due to meaning and purpose and without the primary influence of drugs, sex, and rock ’n’ roll, there was something very substantial, value-driven, that got them together, and there was a substantial quantity of love,” said Dr. Dee. “Somewhere along the way, between power games, selfishness, financial problems, immaturity and fear, that love ran out the window. It was lost and forgotten.“

As a neuropsychologist, Dr. Dee focuses her effort into helping couples identify the main problems in a marriage while putting the minor issues on the back burner. Instead of putting the spotlight on big issues, many troubled couples draw attention to anecdotal experiences that are often charged with high emotional connotation. The second thing couples forget is their commonality of values. According to Dr. Dee, most successful marriages involve a couple who spends considerable time speaking about what they care about the most: goals, stability, safety, etc.

“Saying vows to each other in front of your family and friends is when the baby is born. But it is just a baby; it needs to meet developmental stages, and grow into infancy, childhood, pre-teen, teen years, early adulthood, middle adulthood, and eventually age into the elder years. Recognizing your marriage will be going through these changes, and that each will require you to face new challenges with excellent communication skills, compromises, and renewed commitment, is one of the secrets to successful long-term marriage.”

Dr. Dee is an award-winning neuropsychologist who lectures nationally and internationally in a variety of subjects, including the brain, psychology, and spirituality. She offers a wide range of services, including neuropsychological testing, TBI and Dementia treatment, brain wellness, and more.