Happy Wednesday, everyone. Yeah, another day, another Biden scandal and shockingly, this time Hunter kept his pants on. Which means it must be time for.
SONG: The Biden family. We are as corrupt as can be. I said, the Biden family, it's total incompetency.
But before we get to the nitty-gritty, President Biden's got a special message for us. It's a day late, but cut him some slack.
TOM SHILLUE AS BIDEN: Hey, hey, happy Valentine's. Make no mistake, frisizhnjubs, partfhtubag, legihgoieuhag. I mean it, aoghaeugneog. I mean, c'mon man. It's a true story.
Yeah, all right, well said. I kind of like that, but then again, I just ate a bag of expired medications. But at least his heart's in the right place, swimming in a vat of Lipitor in a fridge. Ooh. Wow. How lucky for him that every day is Valentine's Day, and it certainly is for his wife, Dr. Jill. Talk about an oral examination, maybe she forgot her tongue depressor. Then again, she is a doctor, I mean. But what is it with Bidens and other people's spouses? They don't just keep it in the family, they keep it in the second family. Oh, stop it. Save your clapping for when it matters.
Back to the matter at hand, the latest Biden scandal, and it's not about Hunter or his junk. This is about Joe's brother, Jimbo and I hope to God it has nothing to do with his junk. I've seen enough of the Biden physique to paint it nude from memory in an art class.
The Daily Mail reports Joe's younger brother, Jim, I think he's only 98, he was hired to negotiate with the Saudis over a secret $140 million deal only because his big bro was Veep at the time. Affidavits, whatever those are, reveal that in 2012, Jimbo was hired to negotiate with the Saudis on behalf of an American construction company because of his relationship with Joe. No one would, "dare stiff the brother of the Vice President who would be instrumental to the deal..." After all, the only stiff in that family is Joe or Hunter after a handful of his favorite blue pills.
Apparently, Jim was brought in to help broker a pay-out between the Saudi kingdom and the firm, after the Saudis didn't pay up for work it had done in the eighties. Funny, this seems like this could have been handled on People's Court, would have been nice to see Biden on a show besides The Muppets. Jim reportedly said he was, "often sent to meetings to represent [the company] because, 'of course,' the name didn't hurt..." To which Joe asked, what's so great about the name Jim? Of course, that good 'ol Biden family name didn't hurt, so why not spread it around? Well, unless you're the forgotten baby girl of a stripper knocked up by Hunter, then it's guarded like an alien's underpants in Area 51.
So here's yet another instance of the Bidens trading on their money, power and influence based on their family name, just like Chris Wallace. I don't know where that came from, but they should just start a business right out in the open. The motto, when you're doing the bidding, make it a Biden. But it's like I told Bill Hemmer when he walked on me trying on his shortie robe. I don't believe in coincidences.
If memory serves me correctly, and it doesn't, Jim Biden and his wife are also facing scrutiny for alleged involvement in Hunter's multimillion dollar deal with a Chinese oil company, a deal under investigation by the feds. The Bidens shady business dealings are becoming more common than spy balloons, train derailments and collapsing athletes combined.
And the GOP led House Oversight Committee apparently will include this as part of their investigation into the family, and those investigations are worth seeing through to the end, because clearly the family only cares about money if it's theirs. Because when the Bidens aren't screwing strippers, they're screwing the whole country. For years, Joe has spouted off in speeches about how much he cares about the middle class, but under his watch, they continue to get screwed. From inflation to student loans, it's the people Joe claims to care about the most who end up footing the bill of his own ineptitude.
RATCLIFFE: HUNTER BIDEN LAPTOP WAS A PARTISAN DOMESTIC 'DISINFORMATION CAMPAIGN'
According to the Bureau of Labor stats, eggs are up 70% compared to a year ago, which means a three egg omelet is probably now more expensive than a happy ending and that's without your choice of toppings. It just doesn't make sense. And what about the student loan forgiveness plan? You remember the cash for vote scheme, that goes before the Supreme Court in weeks. And if he gets his way, he will spend more than $1,000,000,000,000 forgiving student loan debt and do so without congressional approval. He'll be blowing up the debt like it's Nord Stream II and the people paying for it will be those who played by the rules, the people who paid their debts, and managed to do so without asking for handouts.
Talking about the middle class, who Joe claims to champion before he sacrifices them on the altar of the woke, Joe what do you have to say for your brother?
