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GREG GUTFELD: You can't turn the country blue when you're turning its citizens black and blue

'Gutfeld!' panelists discuss how President Biden can fix the border crisis.

Happy Monday, everyone, and hello Kamala. So, we heard a lot about the wall when Trump was in office. But there's another wall when it comes to the border issue. The one between reality and what the media will report. And it's a wall 50 times harder to breach than the one Trump was building. But finally, it looks like that wall is crumbling like a wicker chair under Ana Navarro. We've all seen the video of a dozen migrants attacking two cops in Times Square. The video seems to have broken through the media moat that protects the left, and shown everyone what progressive policies on immigration really look like. And it's scarier than Jesse Watters without his hair and makeup. Yeah. 

For those who support law enforcement, the images have become like the famous Rodney King video, but in reverse, and it's hard for us to all just get along when we see the people we gave food, shelter and cash, then beat up our protectors and now the media and Dems act like they suddenly care. Gee, I wonder if it has anything to do with this whole election year thingy. I guess you can't turn the country blue when you're turning its citizens black and blue. And so here in New York, progressives are sweating like AOC trying to make change for a quarter. Take Manhattan D.A. Alvin Bragg, another Soros hand puppet. It was Bragg who decided not to even ask for bail for the attackers, who predictably fled New York upon their release. It's the biggest mess Al's made, and someone handed him a sloppy Joe in a vibrating chair. Last week, Big Al gave a hasty press conference trying to clean up his latest mess.

ALVIN BRAGG: In Manhattan, we do not tolerate or accept assaults on police officers. I watched the tape this week. Despicable behavior. It sickened me and outraged me.

Sickened and outraged, but not enough to do anything about it – the incompetent boob. Now, this is the same Bragg who said in his first day in office that the office will "seek dispositions that avoid immigration consequences." That was the cause and now this is the effect. Cause and effect, Al? Just like those donuts are turning your waistline into the equator. Is it me, or is it declaring on day one that illegals have a get-out-of-jail-free card not exactly a recipe for a successful prosecutor, and yet they can't stop creating more incentives. Take New York City's new $53 million program to give pre-paid credit cards to migrant families. Literal free money handed out to so-called asylum seekers. 

SENATE RELEASES LONG-AWAITED BORDER LEGISLATION, MAJOR ASYLUM CHANGES

Apparently, the pre-loaded cards are only good at grocery stores, and migrants must sign an affidavit swearing they'll only spend it on food and baby supplies. Yeah, and they also promise to ease up on the assault. Then there's New York Mayor Eric Adams, who rode into office on the promise of restoring law and order one vegan school lunch at a time. Adams could rescind the city's sanctuary status, thereby allowing cops to cooperate with ICE. You remember ICE? Who the Dems deemed the worst villain on Earth for doing the job the Dems now so desperately need to be done? But Adams, who previously said the migrant crisis would destroy New York, gee, thanks Miss Cleo, has apparently vanished into witness protection. Could it be that visit he got from the FBI who took his phones and announced they're investigating him? I guess nothing brings on an appreciation of Biden's policy genius like a looming federal indictment. 

Speaking of migration, there's New York Governor Kathy Hochul, whose use of a turkey baster to inject Botox has her eyebrows migrating to Canada. In the wake of the video outrage, Hochul is now saying that deportation is "worth checking into." Yeah, that's just what New York needs. A bold leader who's not afraid to eventually look into things. But only after a 2 p.m. deep tissue massage. This, by the way, is the same Hochul who has not only abetted the criminal justice reforms that allowed the migrants' release but signed a law that makes it a crime to even threaten to get someone deported. It's the only thing that keeps me from getting Kat sent back to Detroit. Hochul could also rescind the executive order that bans New York state officials from cooperating with ICE. And she could fire Alvin Bragg for little things like not doing his job. But that'll be a cold day in hell. Maybe that's why her face is frozen. 

ICE NABS ILLEGAL IMMIGRANTS IN ALASKA, WASHINGTON STATE, OREGON ,TEXAS WITH CONVICTIONS FOR CHILD EXPLOITATION

Finally, there's Joe. Let's forget the roughly 90 Trump-era border initiatives he revoked when taking office. We know Joe certainly has. He forgets to remove his suit before entering his walk-in shower. Right now, without Congress, Biden could sign an executive order that brings back Remain in Mexico, the simplest, most effective southern border policy we've had. Or he could invoke this measure right from his government website and refer specifically to the Venezuelan migrants, "DHS may also decide to terminate your parole at its discretion for other reasons, such as violating any laws of the US. If you stay in the U.S. after your parole expires, officials who encounter you may refer you to ICE for immigration proceedings." In other words, Joe Biden, at his discretion, could simply order these defendants ejected like a grandchild at a Biden family reunion. 

I know. 

But he won't because Venezuela won't take him back. And anything that resembles common sense makes him agree with the big evil orange Meanie. On top of this, huge groups of illegals from China were recently seen pouring into the southern border. On "60 Minutes," a steady stream right through a gap in the fence. Who could have seen that coming? And so now Senate Dems are cooperating with Republicans on an immigration deal. It even includes building that immoral wall we keep hearing so much about. Sure, they want to make it out of paper maché and cotton candy, but at least it's a start. 

Suddenly, the Dems sound a lot like you know who. It's that same old Democrat specialty: push a policy that feels good but does bad. Then, when it causes predictable chaos, turn into Republicans to try to clean it up, rinse and repeat. They're chaos junkies addicted to dumb. Joe, Chuck and Nancy. How about a dose of common sense for once? And when the country really needs it? Not when you're scared of being thrown out on your a**es. 

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