Mariette, a life coach who specialises in narcissistic abuse, anxiety and low confidence, set up Dr De-Stress to work on her mission, educating people on narcissism and supporting victims to heal. Due to her experiences in childhood, Mariette can empathise with her clients who may be dealing with similar abusive circumstances. In her recent book ‘Rulebook of a Narcissist’, she presents 63 rules that many narcissists have in common. ‘It took me 58 years to discover it wasn’t MY FAULT. If only I knew then what I know now… No one needs to stay in that darkness for that long. I am here to shine a light.’
What is a narcissist?
Narcissism is a personality disorder, and it is often undiagnosed. The classic tell-tale signs of Narcissists include confusing others, making them feel insecure, pushing them to question their own mental health rather than recognising that the problem sits with the narcissist.
Mariette explains that there are certain types of people that fall for narcissists. Empaths are people who have more empathy than the average person and are highly sensitive to other people’s emotions. Empaths and narcissists complement one another; empaths can forgive, while narcissists continue to overstep boundaries. Empaths may feel that they can rescue the narcissist, while narcissists aim to control, diminish, lie, blame others, isolate their victims, lack empathy and be in the limelight.
It often takes a while for someone to realise that they are connected to a narcissist. Mariette refers to ‘Boiled Frog Syndrome’ to explain this. If a frog is put into hot water, it will immediately jump out. However, if a frog is placed into cold water that gradually heats up, it will have lost the energy to jump out by the time the water boils. This is what happens regarding emotional abuse, which is subtle and easily dismissed. However, over time, emotional abuse chips away at someone’s sense of self, reducing self-confidence, self-awareness, and trust in their own instincts. Victims will find themselves isolated from loved ones, due to the efforts of their narcissist to alienate them.
Due to the lack of awareness around narcissism, people who are subjected to the abuse ignore the signs leading them to stay in these toxic relationships.
Mariette’s mission is to support victims of narcissism and guide them to deal with their experiences and heal from the abuse. Both books ‘From Victim to Victor’ and ‘Rulebook of a Narcissist’, aim to educate people on narcissism while also offering support for those suffering from a narcissistic relationship.
‘My mother has closed my mouth, shut my heart and made me feel like the most useless person in the universe. She also has turned out to be my biggest inspiration and made me the person I am, which I am grateful for.’ Why I wrote ‘From Victim to Victor’ – Narcissism Survival Guide.
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