You have to be incredibly evil to measure up as a Bond villain. They have names we all recognize – Scaramanga, Goldfinger, Blofeld and the British Film Institute.
OK, that last one is a wee bit of a surprise. The BFI is "a cultural charity" and "the UK‘s lead organisation for film and the moving image." So, you’d think they’d be doing their best to protect Bond, one of the most famous British fictional characters. Right up there with Sherlock Holmes, Harry Potter and Winnie-the-Pooh.
But those three are politically acceptable, though Potter’s author J.K. Rowling is now canceled for thinking like Bond and agreeing that women are… women. But Bond, James Bond, as he likes to say, well he’s a different story. So, the BFI has inserted trigger warnings in front of Bond films.
Here’s the message you get if you queue up to watch the world’s No. 1 spy.
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"Please note that many of these films contain language, images or other content that reflect views prevalent in its time, but will cause offence today (as they did then). The titles are included here for historical, cultural or aesthetic reasons and these views are in no way endorsed by the BFI or its partners."
The two Bond films it highlights are "Goldfinger" and "You Only Live Twice," because BFI is celebrating 50 years of "soundtrack writer John Barry."
Now, the film lovers at the BFI are more than happy to trade off Bond's popularity. The movie series is titled "John Barry: Soundtracking Bond and Beyond." Barry had a nice career, but, be honest, you have no idea who he is. So, the BFI sold the series as "Spies, swingers and shadows were what John Barry, Britain’s greatest soundtrack writer, first encountered in his career."
Ahh, greatest because he did Bond, "The Ipcress File" and "Midnight Cowboy." But not so great that BFI – no, it doesn’t stand for Big Freakin’ Idiots, but it should – doesn’t try to disown them. "The titles are included here for historical, cultural or aesthetic reasons and these views are in no way endorsed by the BFI or its partners."
But, the BFI wasn’t done. Dig into the movie descriptions and there are more slams.
"Goldfinger" is depicted as "cartoonish sexiness truly matched by a loudly swinging soundtrack." And, "You Only Live Twice" gets described as, "Contains outdated racial stereotypes." So, they’ll sell you tickets for 16 pounds, but you must be either a sex fiend or a racist if you want to see them.
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Now, that’s marketing!
I would figure a James Bond "trigger warning" meant he was about to shoot somebody. No, our man 007 is offending the chinless wonders at the BFI simply for reflecting views prevalent in his time. Oh, the horror.
We all know Bond. The movie franchise alone has accounted for more than $7 billion and up to 27 movies. (Only 25 films are official.) Our star is played by some of Hollywood’s most dashing men, like Sean Connery, Roger Moore and Daniel Craig, to name a few.
Bond, for the 12 people on the planet who don’t know who he is, is a globetrotting superspy who, according to Rotten Tomatoes, is a "debonair rogue that women crave and men aspire to be in vain." He’s also a patriot who risks life and limb stopping bad guys and making the world safe for Marxist morons like the BFI.
Our hero likes his martinis, "shaken, not stirred" and his women, well, pretty much any way he can get them, as long as they are beautiful. The list of Bond girls is just as impressive as the actors who played the title role – Ursula Andress, Diana Rigg, Jane Seymour, Halle Berry and Eva Green. (Bond’s number is about 60, according to one study.)
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In other words, Bond is a relic from an era when men were men and women liked it that way, too. Spies were all the rage when Bond rose to stardom. It was the peak of the Cold War, and we envisioned our cold warriors as daring, brave and good looking with lives filled with sex, alcohol and smoking.
Now, all of those things are frowned upon by the cinema elite and Bond apparently is envisioned as a tool of the patriarchy or some such nonsense.
Actress Jenny Hanley, who appeared in the Bond film "On Her Majesty's Secret Service," called the BFI nonsense "insulting" and "babysitting." But the film phonies are sticking to their censorship.
BFI’s head of strategic communications, Tina McFarling, explained, "Whilst we have a responsibility to preserve films as close to their contemporaneous accuracy as possible, even where they contain language or depiction which we categorically reject, we also have a responsibility in how we present them to our audiences."
McFarling and the rest of the wallies (British slang for idiot) at the BFI, should remember that Bond always triumphs over the villains. And it seldom goes well for the bad guys.
